Confidence is not about acting a certain way; it is about being authentic. It is the confidence to be self-actualized and to stop trying to be another copycat of some media image that you've been manipulated into seeking.
This attempt to conform is really related to a deep-seated, unconscious belief in "survival of the fitness". This is rooted in insecurity around safety and the need to be loved. While is it human to want to feel love and security, it is a distortion to seek it first outside of yourself.
You will not really ever transcend the search for security and love as long as you give your focus of power to people, places and things outside of yourself. You must first love yourself in order to "find" the security and love that you need.
I've learned this first hand. I grew up, real or not, perceiving that I did not quite "fit in" into my environment on many levels. While there was some factual examples of rejection going on in my world, being a child, the rejection felt almost life threatening. The issue for me and all of us is that many of our decisions about "how life is" are based on the intellectual understanding and memory of a three-year-old!
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