The Confidence Doc

Demystifying Self Esteem: It’s Just Not That Complicated

Self-esteem, or having a healthy sense of your own value, gets a lot of bad press and there is a lot of controversy around the topic.  This seems on the surface baffling to me, as what is the problem with, well, liking yourself? 

Where did all of this confusion come from?  There are many reasons that I have come across, far too many to mention in a short blog post, but the bottom line conclusion on a practical basis is this: who you think you are and your sense of self-worth affects every single area of your life. 

If you feel good about yourself and think that you are worthy of the goodness of life you are right.  If you feel bad about yourself and think that you are unworthy of the goodness of life – you are also right.  The saying “be is unto to your according to your faith” is a principle of life – period. 

Faith is another discussion for another time, but for this blog post, the main thing to remember is that faith and belief come from the heart.  It is not just some thought that you glibly recite to impress those around you.  When you believe something, you FEEL it. 

Getting back to self-esteem I would say that simply self-acceptance is the goal.  When you accept yourself, you can have compassion for yourself instead of judging and beating yourself up all day long, and you can have a more open and compassionate heart for others. 

Now, acceptance DOES NOT mean condoning or complacency. 

However, in order to have quantum leap change and empowerment in your life, you will elevate your energy right out the gate if you can look at where you are in your life and become open to changing it without spending your energy (notice the word “spending”) ruminating over what you don’t like currently. 

Empowerment: To Forgive or Not to Forgive – That is the Question!

Empowerment is so elusive for so many people because they do not understand principles are at work all the time – whether you believe it or not!  Take the Law of Gravity.  You can say you do not believe in the Law, or that you think whatever it is that you think about the law – it does not matter because the bottom line is, if you jump off of your roof, you are going down! 

I read an interesting discussion somewhere this week that discussed the issue of forgiveness.  In summary, the author was asking the question about whether forgiving someone is necessary or really valid.  On the table was also the issue of whether or not forgiveness is even possible.  I had the sense that the perspective was, as it is so often, that forgiveness was for the perpetrator, versus the “victim”. 

This issue about who is forgiveness for is the point of confusion that leads to the downfall of so many people.  Forgiveness as a benefit is NOT for the perpetrator – it is for the person who feels wronged!  “What?” you may ask.  “How so”? 

Empowerment: Do You Really Know What You Want?

It is empowering to feel clarity and excitement about experiencing what you want in life.  When you feel that you know what you want, and you’ve taken the necessary inspired action to materialize it, chances are you feel pretty good inside.

It certainly appears to me that at the heart of the matter what everybody is searching for is happiness and inner peace.  These two can only come from the inside out, and they are companions of love. 

Not the Hollywood version of love, or the dysfunctional/co-dependent "I can't live without you" kind of love.  I'm referring to the kind of love that is the rock of power, the Love that come from your core, your Spirit and it never fails. 

As long as you stay distracted by externals, via the media or by looking for love in all the wrong places, you will never find the inner peace and power that is your birthright and is waiting for you to turn within.  As long as you do not go within, you will go with out (external) and you will live without the sense of empowerment that is deep down inside, that you sense is possible. 

Happiness is not a person place or thing.