The Confidence Doc

Empowerment: Re-Writing Our Stories

“All the worlds a stage and all the men and women merely players; they have their entrances and exists and one man plays many parts in his time” ~ William Shakespeare

This is one of my all time favorite quotes as it represents how I have come to see life as “human being”.  Actually, it is literal in many ways.  Science is helping substantiate many areas that only a few short years ago were looked upon with fear and suspicion by many as “woo-woo” or “new age” – both of which were vague and “out there” sort of terms.

Many of the processes that I first started becoming aware of ten years ago I tried based on faith and my inner Guidance.  I did not have the kind of inner peace that I knew was possible, even though outwardly, my life appeared successful by most standards.  I am actually a very grounded practical person in many ways.  I am also very much the visionary risk taker as well.

As I tried new modalities, I began to change.  It was scary at first, but now I am certain that once you can learn to trust yourself, expand your sense of connection to the Divine and let go of the need to control everything and everybody, your life can expand and grow beyond what you could have even imagined possible!

Personal Empowerment: Would You Rather Be Happy or Right?

Personal empowerment cannot occur if you keep doing the same thing and using the same information that got you where you are today.  How are you ever going to expand into a bigger role in life if you keep closing your mind to new information? 

Einstein is credited with saying that it is insanity to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.  How true! 

If you want to stop struggling and feeling like life is one big survival of the fittest contest, you have to be willing to release your old beliefs and paradigms that no longer work for you.  Why is this so hard? 

There can be many reasons, but one is that from a science standpoint, once you wire into your nervous system what you believe to be true, you will only tend to notice what aligns with your “reality”.  Reality is relative; my reality is not your reality. 

Once you start to unconsciously believe what you do, your conscious choice shuts down and you “fall asleep”.  If you are not aware or paying attention you will live your life on autopilot.  If your life is working very well for you, this is fine, but if it is not, your suffering will tend to only increase with time, like a growing cancer. 

There was an article written in Science Daily.com July 2, 2009, entitled “People Sometimes Seek the Truth, but Prefer Like-Minded Views”.  In other words, birds of a feather flock together.  In this article, done as a collaborative effort of several universities, it was shown that most people prefer to select information that supports their existing views. 

Self-Esteem: Study Shows Positive Affirmations Hurts Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem as a term can be ambiguous considering that it means many different things to different people.  Considering how many people tend to avoid discussing themselves relative to the term, I suspect there is general discomfort around this topic. 

I believe when there is a sense of shame, insecurity or embarrassment on the table, the topic usually gets pushed under the table.  This is one reason why people cannot grow in their confidence; they do not want to deal with discomfort. 

At Science Daily.com there is an article dated July 3, 2009, entitled “The Problem With Self-Help Books”.  According to this article, a research study printed in “Psychological Science” demonstrated that if a person had good, healthy self-esteem, affirmations could be useful. 

However, if someone with low self-esteem used such affirmations, for example “I am lovable” then it had the effect of aggravating their negative feelings.  This is plausible to me and is one reason why I advocate learning how thoughts, emotions and feeling are embedded in the body and how to deal with them as the energy that they are. 

If you really believe something, it becomes lodged in your body as cellular memory.  For example, belief is actually a thought that has the perception of truth behind it.  Once you perceive a thought about your self to be real, by definition it has the energy of feeling associated with it, otherwise it would have no effect on you. 

Emotional Awareness: A Key to Authentic Empowerment

Emotional awareness and empowerment are connected in that feelings are the fuel that drives thoughts.  What I mean is, while thought is important, the emotional perception attached to the thought makes all of the difference as far as the energy that you put out into the Universe as a “vibe”. 

This matters to your health in terms of the stress that people are feeling now due to the turmoil that is going on in our economy.  I am hearing more and more about “stress” and how people are worried about their security. 

I’ve read articles where even people who are employed and are not under imminent threat of losing anything are also experiencing increased depression and anxiety. The issue here is that most people believe that the external environment is causing them to feel fear or powerless. 

We are conditioned to believe that life is happening to us.  Actually, we are, by the power of our own perception, creating the anxiety and this anxiety can actually contribute to our experience of life.  True, there are issues going on in the economy, but that does not in and of itself cause your ulcer. 

It is your fear, your perception of perceived threat that is triggering your nervous system to react in the “fight, flight or freeze” response.  Everyone is not responding the same way.  I know I am not.  I live here in the United States as well. 

I am fortunate enough to have taken the time and made it my business to understand my own mind over the past decade.  I used to be an overwhelmed, stress-out professional, but I pursued the “secrets of the Universe”, and I have found them in essence. 

Drop The Drama: Happiness is a Choice!

Happiness is elusive for many people.  One reason I say this is that I notice our media headlines via the Internet, or in passing by a newsstand, or just simply coming across statistics that show the rise of chronic disease in our society and the millions of prescriptions written for anti-depressants...the list could go on here. 

There is obviously more than one reason.  So, is happiness something that we are going to find outside of ourselves?  Do not hold your breath!  If you haven’t already noticed, there is an awful lot of drama going on in the world today.

The media is outright addicted to it.  Thank goodness I have the power to turn it off!  There are many people who would rather dwell on their personal woes and what is wrong with the world.  Thank goodness I have the power to choose who I hang out with.  I am not always in a perfectly happy, energetic, vibrant mood.  Thank goodness I have the power and Grace to change my mind! 

In fact, your ability to “change your mind” is the single most powerful option you have to experience happiness.  It is not going to just show up in your life and any drama that is hanging out in your world first started showing up because of the way you allowed your mind to focus your attention. 

Confidence Building is an Inside Job

Confidence building is truly an “inside job”.  It is time for us to wake up as humanity and realize this.  As long as we keep waiting for others to tell us who we are, what we can accomplish in life, and whether or not we are worthy, we will continue to play it safe, which means to play small. 

Our new president, Barack Obama, cast aside all of the naysayers and went for his dream, his purpose, his mission.  His personal power and his confidence is a shining example to us all of what we are capable of.  He is not unique.  He has a unique purpose and gifts, but his ability to raise his confidence is not unique. 

We are all wired, at a spiritual level to be able to step up to a higher level of being that will lead us to our dream.  I have never had a desire to be the president.  I have leadership ability and gifts, but my purpose is not the same as his.  You too have a purpose.  Everyone does. 

But until you start to master the belief that you are “not enough”, or that you are powerless, which is really a conditioned belief, you will continue to go through life stressed out and living in a chronic state of fear and competition. 

Your focus has to be within because your inner world of thought creates your outer world of experience.  What you think and feel creates your "reality".  This is now even science. 

Neuroscience: Why We Conform and What You Can Do To Change

Neuroscience is a very exciting field if you are interested in self-mastery.  I talk about confidence and self-esteem often.  Well, the bottom line is, when you truly understand self-mastery, you will have all the confidence and self-esteem that you will need to navigate the journey of life. 

Let me be clear here though that self-esteem is about understanding the nature of your True self and I am not talking about narcissism and wimping out in life as some people and academics define self-esteem.  I am talking about waking up and taking charge of your own destiny. 

You will never be able to do this as long as you are conforming to group thinking.  The masses of people in general are very slow to accept change because they are conditioned to look for fear and what to avoid instead of focusing on love and empowerment, both of which are necessary to fulfill your individual destiny. 

Now a very new study is showing that there is a biological connection to conformity.  You can read about it in the journal “Neuron”, Volume 61, Issue 1, 140-151, 15 January 2009.  I’ve talked about the fear center in the brain that alarms when you are out of your comfort zone before.

Managing Stress From the Inside Out

Stress seems to be ubiquitous these days, judging from how often I hear the word used.  I see people who look anxious and being “busy” is epidemic.  I no longer buy into the idea that being busy is a badge of honor or affirming to my self-worth. 

In fact, it was not until I re-ordered my life and created more balance and time for myself and other things that are important to me, that I started to feel more self-acceptance. 

For one thing, I was able to actually feel again, and get out of my head.  What a treat!  The issue though, is that first I had to free myself from the negative self-talk that was provoking the negative feelings that I was running away from in my busyness in the first place. 

What most people do not realize, is that the negative self-talk going on in your head is contributing to your stress levels – and there is scientific evidence to prove this now.  I came across an interesting article yesterday, January 25, 2009, by USNEWS.com entitled “How to Beat Stress and Angst Through Meditation”. It was written by Michelle Andrews.

Neuroscience and Self-Esteem: Negative Self -Talk Can Impact Your Brain

Self-esteem discussions can stir up debate, as there is no one hard and fast definition for what healthy self-esteem is or how to attain it.  From my perspective, self-esteem is the value or sense of worth that you have about yourself, your being, who you are. 

Most people still look to the opinions and judgments of others for this value they impose on themselves. Just the fact that public speaking is still the number one fear even ahead of death on some surveys, demonstrate this fact. 

Also, commonly people look to their external accomplishments to define their worth as a human being.  I believe, to truly feel empowered in a long-term stable way, one has to have a sense of worth from their very core, regardless of outer appearances.  This is really a spiritual quality. 

If you stop and think about it, how you perceive yourself runs your life.  If I think I am unworthy of whatever it is, I will generate feelings and thus ultimately words and actions that sabotage my ability to obtain those very things.  It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Self-Esteem: What You Think About Your Self Matters

Self-esteem is the value or worth that you believe to be true for you.  Notice I said, believe to be true.  Belief can change and it is often formed on faulty information. 

Since I discovered that I have the power to decide what is true or not for my own sense of self and my own values, I have realized my old version of me was based on a “pack of lies”, which were simply thoughts. 

You are not your thought.  Thoughts are energy that is translated into information within your brain circuits and stimulates an emotional response that causes feelings in your body.  The Life Force that animates your body is the real you, the Spirit of YOU.  This is the being of you. 

Thought is simply the Human experience that you are experiencing through the process of thoughts.  It is your journey to choose to wake up and connect with the Being of yourself, or to stay asleep and believe you are only your ego thought self, you know, the old “I’m only human” drama. 

The problem is, the ego self is full of thoughts rooted in lack, fear and insufficiency.  This translates into all manner of strife, disease and poverty.  You will live in constant survival mode.  This is why the vast majority of people do not thrive; they merely see life as a struggle to survive.